The Numbing of Netflix

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I know better than to start watching a TV series. I can’t stop until it’s done and well…. some of them have a lot of seasons with a lot of episodes and that takes up a lot of hours.

103 to be exact (ish).

Did you get that? I watched 103 hours of nonsense over the last month.

A series I got so into, that when something happened to one of the main characters, I cried for hours and felt depressed for days.

But I couldn’t stop watching. It was like a drug.

When I felt stressed, I’d watch. When I was tired, I‘d watch. When life got hard, I’d watch. When anxiety took over, I’d watch.

It was the answer to everything, because as long as I was watching, I wasn’t feeling, not real life anyway.

In my brief moments of self-awareness, great ideas would pass by, only to be snuffed out with the longing to ‘turn off’ with Netflix. Netflix won every time.

I could easily see this becoming a pattern, series after series.

Why aim higher and strive for that next promotion, when you can avoid those desires with Netflix? Why follow through with a plan to meet with someone, when you could just stay home with Netflix? Why get uncomfortable listening to the voice of passion and ideas, when the comfort of Netflix is right there?

Why feel through life at all when you can just numb with Netflix?

This is the second time in my life that I have watched a series and knowing my personality and my weakness, it will be a long time before I do it again.

Life is short friends. Really short. I doubt that anyone ever gets to the end and says, ‘man I wish I would have watched more shows.’

That voice, those dreams, those ideas – they are real. Act on them. Live a full life of passion and adventure.

That, you’ll regret if you don’t.

Until next time,
Eva

 

 

 

 

 

The Guilt of Motherhood

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It all starts with one word.

Mama.

Long before it is even spoken by those little lips, already while being knit together, whether in womb or heart.

A piece of you. A part of you. Growing. Shaping to roam and change the world.

Without you.

First comes the joy and excitement, which if we’re honest, is followed by extreme terror and doubt.

You become responsible for this being that prances around with your heart like it’ll never stop beating and can endure all things.

When in reality, after week one, it starts dragging never to fully catch up again.

Sleep is but a vague memory. Clean floors. Dirty dishes. Laundry piles. Dusting – who still does that anyway? It never ends.

Yet, very few of us hold only the prestigious mama title. One that really is enough to consume every ounce of sanity and energy one human is capable of producing.

So we push through day after day as a full-time mama, in a full-time career, as a full-time cleaner, as a never ending cook and a 24-7 first responder…. I haven’t even touched on comparisons and the dos and don’ts that attempt to choke us at every turn.

These little people are everywhere and they need us every minute of the day, even after they start pretending they don’t.

Mamas we will never be done. We are in this forever. All of us.

Feeling alone? Exhausted? Like you’re the only one that just fed their kids Kraft Dinner three days in a row? Like it’s only your child that throws a tantrum in the check out line every. single. time. And the famous words I HATE YOU…. you must be the only parent to have ever heard that.

Because all the other mamas feed their children only organic food with 80% vegetables, 10% protein and 10% carbs. All the other mamas know how to hold their temper, even behind closed doors. They get promotions at work and their homes are spotless. Their children are in ballet, gymnastics, soccer and well every fricking thing under the sun. Oh and their husbands? Well, they are clearly living happily ever after.

Insanity right? How do we keep it together?

We don’t. Each of us marching to the beat of a different drum in the same band. Alone.

Mamas we need each other. We need to do this together.

We need to be able to extend and share our bruised, dragging hearts in all aspects of motherhood. On the street, in the market, at the park and in our homes.

Together with so much grace, love and respect for each other that all those moments of guilt, fear and doubt are replaced and filled with assurance, support and love. Oh so much love.

Because despite all of it, at the end of the day, we love our little beings so much, that we wouldn’t change it for anything.

And there is only one way we can remain sane on this crazy adventure of motherhood…..

Together. Hand in hand. Heart to heart.

You with me mama?

 

Until next time,
Eva

 

 

Photo credit – DanaWall Photography