What Not to Say to Someone Going Through a Hard Time – ‘Stay Strong’

Sitting with others through their pain can be awkward and uncomfortable. We don’t know what to do. We want to make them feel better somehow, so we say things. More like throw up words out of our mouth, words that cause more pain than healing.

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Series Post 1 – ‘Stay Strong’

I can’t even count how many times people have told me to ‘stay strong,’ much less how many times I’ve heard it said to others and even used it myself.

We probably say it because we actually believe staying strong is the only option to surviving trials.

It seems pretty harmless and of course we mean well, but those two simple words can be very damaging to someone going through a crisis.

As we go through challenges, we will feel every emotion imaginable… even weakness. When we are constantly told to be strong, while we feel anything but strong, it brings on guilt, shame and denial.

Immense guilt in ‘why do I feel so weak when I need to be strong, others could handle this better, I need to be strong so I’ll pretend that I am.’

It denies us the freedom to feel, process and heal.

In life we will encounter hard times where we feel completely defeated and weak, and we need to be able to sit in that and own it.

Feeling weak does not make us less of a person. It makes us a human being capable of opening up to the real core of pain and working through it.

The freedom and blessing that comes from fully feeling through our weakness is far greater than ‘being strong’ and fighting against authentic heart emotions.

Imagine the strength of someone coming out of hardship, having lived through it fully feeling.

Fully feeling leads to fully healing…. And feeling weak is part of that!

Until next time,
Eva

For video on this post click here.

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