I recently visited a dear friend who is fighting (and loosing) her battle against ALS. As I walked the halls of St. Michaels with her in her wheel chair, I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing something.
To live a life consumed of things that when you get to that place, will be completely meaningless.
As I pondered that, I wondered if it’s possible to get it before you get there.
She said, ‘if I had a chance to walk again, I’d thank God for my legs everyday.’ I have never thanked God for my legs.
The reality of where her story is going is setting in, and I am convinced there is more to my days here on earth. Like I need to keep seeking what I feel I’m missing.
My breathing has been heavy again the last couple of days and I had hoped worship at church this morning would help, but it did the opposite.
They sang, Blessed Be Your Name. I think we all know it. How to sing it anyway.
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say……
I must be missing something because when I found myself in the desert place, I did not have it in me to bless His name.
When the darkness closed in, I RAN!
To turn back and praise Him for every blessing He pours out, is a language I have yet to learn.
As I looked around the sanctuary at all the people, my breathing got heavier and heavier. Maybe they really mean it, maybe they would praise the Lord in the wilderness, maybe they’re all like Moses and I’m the only one like the Israelites.
I went to the throne to apologize for my lack of faith. As I paused to look into his face and beg for my breathing to get lighter, I expected to find him occupied and overwhelmed with gratitude from the multitude of people worshipping him this Sunday morning.
Instead I had his full attention, ‘you are not the only Israelite Eva, but would you like to be my Moses?’
Then I remembered, Moses died within sight of the promised land. Ugh….. ah, maybe not.
But, on the other hand, Moses always seemed to be seeking to get it and reminded others to do the same.
I may never get it until I get there and forever feel like I am missing something here on earth, but maybe that’s what it takes to keep me from getting comfortable and complacent.
That, I’ll take.
Until next time,
P.S. The image above made me smile, gave me hope 😉