There are certain things in life that are irreplaceable, it’s unlike anything else.
Irreplaceable feelings – that thing that happens in your heart when you open your mouth to describe it, and nothings come out – yeah that thing.
I remember exactly how I felt that one night my whole family was under the same roof. It hadn’t happened in a long time. It was special.
I was sleeping on the floor because we didn’t have enough beds for everyone. Of course I had given mine up for my older siblings that had traveled to come home.
I remember lying there thinking about all eight of them and my folks. I loved them all, like a lot, and each one of them annoyed the dickens out of me. All the while waiting for them to go home so I could get my bed back.
I remember feeling something deep. Words escape me. We were all together. All in one place.
We loved. We hated. We laughed. We cried. We fought. We never made up – you just got over it. We never hugged…. I wish we had.
But we were all ok….. Because we were all together….. For the last time.
As I went about my day today and encountered different people, that feeling kept coming back to me and I couldn’t help but wonder…..
I saw the grown son high five his mom as a thank you for dinner because he still couldn’t muster the words. I saw awkward families who hadn’t seen each other in a long time and weren’t sure they wanted to now. I saw families who looked picture perfect on the outside as the brokenness seeped through the crevices.
I couldn’t help but wonder if they too were feeling what I had felt that one night. Were they all ok because they were all together?! Would this be their last time?!
I recognize that there are many people in this world that have perhaps never felt that family feeling, and I am sorry. Really.
For those of us that have; I think we can all agree that no matter how crazy our family drives us, there is nothing like it. That feeling when you walk through that door and you’re all together and you’re all ok.
The intensity of that feeling surpasses the frustration, annoyance, hurt and all the other crap that families put us through, because it’s one of a kind. It’s irreplaceable.
Perhaps that feeling intensifies when it’s become but a memory. Perhaps it can only be truly felt looking back. But it was always there.
Because we were all together. We were all ok.
Until next time,