I feel like I should give you faithful readers and supporters a bit of a run down on what’s going on these days. The problem is I really don’t know where to start.
I LOVE writing, but only when it’s from the heart.
The things going on in the heart these days all seem to be ‘confidential.’ Like, I can’t write about that because then I’ll offend this and this person kind of confidential.
The things going on in the heart involve so many others that I actually contemplated starting an anonymous blog. A place where I could REALLY just spit out what I feel. I guess it would be like my journal to Jesus, because He is the only one that can really take all I feel.
Yes I could just journal in a book, but I feel like someone out there could appreciate knowing there is someone else in the world who feels things that are forbidden to be spoken of. Hmm, still sounds like a good idea. Guess you’ll never know if I do.
So here’s to trying to give you a glimpse in neutrality.
Is life difficult or is it just me?!?!
I kid you not, sometimes I feel like God has his laser on me and He’s not about to remove it. This is good. But dickens, it’s SO hard.
If you’re wondering what’s so hard in her life right now? Well I don’t know. Nothing SPECIFICALLY, just feeling EVERYTHING from deep with in.
Perhaps it has something to do with moving to another country. Or hearing things like, ‘oh your Eva, your husband is the one with brain cancer, right?’ Or working on a video with all the sweet faces of the children at Talita Cumi, and realizing how much I feel like an orphan myself. Realizing that I still haven’t been able to run into my mom’s arms having her tell me that this time, I don’t need to be the strong one.
So what does one do when you feel things you can’t express? You express things you don’t really feel. To the ones you love. And it’s nasty. It’s hard to breath through.
Today I’m not going to give you a BUT.
I do promise to give you a BUT sometime this week though, because there are lots and they are really important.
Just not today. Today this is just it.
Until next time,