M is for Marriage….. OR Misconception

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My mom used to tell me that a bride to be would walk around with her shoulders held high, telling everyone, “I’m going to get married!!!!”

Then after a few months (or days for some) she would walk around with her shoulders slouched, telling everyone, “I’m married.”

If only that were true. That people would actually tell someone if that is how they felt after a couple months of marriage.

The topic of marriage seems as taboo as the topic of sex. As we can see in today’s teens, not talking about it doesn’t stop it. In fact, silence probably increases it. In the same way the silence about marriage isn’t getting us anywhere, other than divorce.

Today I’m allowing you into the sanctuary of our marriage, because I’ve been thinking and praying and I really couldn’t find a reason as to why I shouldn’t. And because I so wish that others would do the same. Before it’s too late.

Just FYI, this is all Gary approved.

Tomorrow (Sept. 20th) marks our 5year-wedding anniversary. To some of you it may not seem like much, but to me it feels more like 25. Seems impossible to have lived and learned through so much in a mere 5 years.

My moms used to laugh at me because I would tell her what my marriage was going to be like. Now I’m laughing at myself, because I. had. no. idea.

My guy was ALWAYS going to walk beside me. It drove me crazy to see a couple walking somewhere, one in front of the other. It still drives me crazy that Gary ALWAYS walks behind me. (He says I walk too fast). :/

My guy was ALWAYS going to speak to me in love and vice versa. How did I know we were going to spend 24/7 in each others faces for 6 months straight, while I care for MY MAN?! Speaking in love doesn’t come natural when you’re sick, tired, emotional and hardly feeling human.

We were going to have sex every night of the week, because that’s what a couple in love does, right? Well, um…. Well, it’s a LOT of work. Yes, I said work. Those of you that are married know what I’m talking about, those of you that aren’t shouldn’t know. We all want to give 110 percent at the end of long hard day, don’t we?!

The love of my life and I were going to live happily ever after…. or so I thought.

No one ever told me that he was going to want to go to bed at 10 and want me to turn the light off, when I like to stay up until 11 or 12 with my light ON. No, it’s not the same in a different room.

Why someone would drive 99 in a 100 zone is beyond me. Of course 100 means 110!

What do you mean you can’t explain how you feel? You just verbalize what’s going on inside of you!!!!

Why would anyone ever think that because you re-do something they did, it means “they can’t do anything right.” Honest to goodness.

How can saying one thing mean something COMPLETELY different to the next person?!

You see, we don’t have gigantic unforgiveable struggles in our marriage. But it is these day-to-day things that turn into enormous resentment if they are not dealt with. These enormous resentments can then turn into gigantic unforgiveable struggles.

There are a few of you that may be thinking, “this doesn’t sound like our marriage at all, we truly are living happily ever after”. Well good for you!! 🙂 I do know a few couples, ok maybe VERY, VERY few couples that don’t have to work ubber hard at their marriage. But the rest of us have to pray ourselves through our marriage.

I can tell you that it’s only by God’s grace and strength (and counselling) that we are celebrating 5 years of marriage. 5 years of learning what marriage is not.

Is your man/woman driving you crazy? Go tell someone before he/she drives you insane! No, I didn’t say post negative things about him/her on Facebook or tell the whole world what you really think. Go share your heart with someone you trust, someone who loves their significant other. Someone who can counsel and guide you to the best marriage yet.

Now, here’s to the next 5 years of learning what a true Godly marriage really IS.

Until next time,

Eva

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7 thoughts on “M is for Marriage….. OR Misconception

  1. I respect you for your willingness to share. It was well written. The little things that can cause hurt are the worst enemy for our marriages. It does take work to have a good marriage. I’d say this is for any marriage. So may you have a good anniversary as you remember why you learned to love each other over the years. God bless.

  2. Melanie Berg

    Eva, you are amazing and I only wish we could meet up “in person”. I just KNOW we would be great friends!!! I respect and agree with all you wrote in this post. Dave & I just celebrated 13 years of marriage. I love the guy with every fiber of my being…..and yet we have to daily work at keeping our marriage strong and healthy. There are many times where we look at each other and think, “I seriously can’t believe you think that way!” There are many times we still surprise each other with the way we think, react, or whatever. Marriage is a gift given by God, and it’s amazing, but He never promised it would be easy. Thanx for your openness…blessings on you guys as you celebrate 5 years!!

  3. Con Schultz

    Awesome realities of marriage life… it is work, it is fun. It is utterly amazing when it goes well. It isnt as much fun when not. Thanks for posting ‘real stuff’ – keeps the rest of us from the fantasies of life. Blessings to both of you in regards to marriage!

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