Feeling Transparent


Looking back on my posts you would think it’d be about time for a sunshine and roses kind of post, because honestly, who likes a debbie downer? Well, if I were to write about sunshine and roses, I wouldn’t be writing from the heart and what’s the use in writing if it’s not from the heart?!

Speaking of writing from the heart, what about living and feeling from the heart? Yes, even as a Christian.

In my post “I could be going crazy” you got a glimpse of how I REALLY felt that day. Many of you wrote saying how you appreciated my transparency, while a few of you were not sure what to do with it. I appreciated all of the feedback because it got me thinking and thinking leads to blogging.

Let’s have a look at a couple definitions.

*Feeling – an emotional state or reaction.

*Transparent – Β Allowing light to pass through so that objects (feelings) behind can be Β  distinctly seen.

Can you imagine allowing yourself to feel in the light for others to distinctly see your emotional state?!

As humans we FEEL things. Some deeper than others, some hide it better than others, but we ALL feel things.

The hiding part is what gets me, which leads me to transparency.

Do you know how annoying it is when you are trying to see something but you can’t because something is blocking the view? You know it’s there and you just want to push aside whatever is blocking it and bring it into the light so you can see it for all it’s worth. Well that is how I feel about non-transparency in people.

Most of us have seen enough in our days that we can read through bull, so who are we kidding?

The journey that my family is currently on comes with INTENSE feelings. All sorts of feelings, good, bad and ugly. Sometimes for brief moments, I feel like I am only allowed to feel good feelings because the rest of the world seems to only be feeling the good. I push the bad and the ugly deep down out of the light until breathing becomes difficult.

Some people argue that as Christians we should not feel the bad and ugly (my thoughts on that would be a whole other post). Regardless of whether or not we believe we are allowed to feel these feelings , the truth is WE FEEL THEM and most of us just pretend we don’t. We press them down in guilt until they overcome us and then we feel like a giant failure.

If we as brothers and sisters would only share our TRUE feelings with one another (whether good or bad), we could TRULY PRAY for one another and TRULY be HEALED, with out shame or guilt. (Context taken from James 5:16).

Are you walking the ‘bad and ugly feeling’ road all alone or are you letting the light shine through for others to see you distinctly?

Let’s be real, after all the real thing is always better.

Until next time,

4 thoughts on “Feeling Transparent

  1. Love it, Eva. Though we’ve never met, you are a girl after my own heart! I find transparency refreshing and beautiful. We are all on this journey of “life” together, so let’s be real with each other, share what we truly feel, and lift each other up in authentic prayer!

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