The Truth About Parenting

Our one and only daughter at 19 months is __________…… Well I’ll just let you read the post to figure it out.

I could really try and sugar coat this post and make you all believe that our daughter is an Angel and that we are perfect parents, after all we are Christians and should keep it together right?

Well, I’ve never been really good at lying.

I have already admitted that I take back everything I ever said about parenting.

Our daughter is 19 months and I’m in the process of figuring out what is going on.

Here is what I do know: she does the exact opposite of what we tell her to do 80% of the time. When she has made her mind up about something, she screams at the top of her lungs (yes especially in public). When she has to do something she doesn’t want to (like go into her car seat) she goes board stiff and screams (yep, even more so when the people beside us are trying to get into their car). At 3am when she doesn’t want to sleep any more after giving her a drink and telling her she needs to lie down and go back to sleep, she will call out “Momma” for, well until I go crazy. I could go on, but if you are a parent who has experienced even one of these, I’m sure you get the picture.

She hasn’t always been like this. Really only the last two weeks, but we’re most definitely at an incline instead of decline.

So as first time parents we’re trying to figure out what is going on and what to do. Here is what I’m processing:

Is my child the only one with this sort of behaviour? In other words, are we the first and only parents feeling this way? If not, why has no one ever shared what it really feels like as a parent? Do I feel so strongly about this because ‘my kids would never behave that way’. Do I need to come to grip with it and go pick up the book “How to Raise a Strong Willed Child”????….

Yes I have looked into family history: According to my siblings I was the sweetest thing who wouldn’t hurt a flee (until life got a hold of me). So my ‘passion’ towards different areas in life could be called ‘learned behaviors’. As in, you find a way to get heard in certain cultures and communities.

No, questioning Gary isn’t even an option, he was a sweet little boy. Always has and always will. (I can’t speak on his behalf so that’s all I can say:)

So if her character doesn’t portray either Gary or me, where did this little 19 month old girl get all this ‘passion’ from?

Yes, we have prayed over her and for her every day since we found out we were pregnant. Yes, we ask (beg at this point) God for guidance and wisdom everyday on how to raise her.

You might think I’m over reacting considering she’s only been acting this way for about two weeks. Well let me tell you it feels like a VERY long time on our end.

I wish I could apologize to every single parent I ever judged for not being able to control their kids. Now I know what it’s like to be on the other side. I definitely notice when others stare and judge (you can just feel it) but I’m not mad at them because they must be like I was; naive.

How are others suppose to know what it feels like as a parent? After all, we are supposed to be perfect and have perfect children, right?

Merry Christmas to you as you celebrate the birth of the one and ONLY perfect baby; Jesus!

Until next time,
Eva

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3 thoughts on “The Truth About Parenting

  1. Con Schultz

    Loved your post Eva (& Gary)!! I have always said that the pics I see of your daughter all have a look of very determined facial expression. You bet, most of us have walked this road, some sooner, some later, but very few escape it. It may not be in the genes – you could look at aunts & uncles, maybe even small group friends who have hinted to her that this is normal & acceptable behavior! But through all that – God made her with His image in mind, with His plans laid before her, with His perfect design for what he has in mind for her future. Some day you’ll be very very very thankful she has this amazing characteristic to carry her though certain times of life. Blessings & Merry Christmas! (If we would have shared our story with you, you either wouldnt have believed it, or you wouldnt have had the joys of discovering the values of raising one of Gods Kids!)

  2. Thanks so much for your response and encouragement Con. You give us hope. You’re boys are fine gentlemen, so you did something right:)

    Blessings on you and yours!

  3. Liana Epp

    HI Eva,
    Thinking about you again and checked out your blog (first time for me) and read your post about parenting a strong-willed person who is growing into their opinion about how the world should be. I had a very easy going first born girl so our strong willed second born boy was a challenge. I sometimes felt like it was something I had done as a parent but realized that I could only control some things – food at regular intervals, ensuring adequate opportunities for sleep – and some things I couldn’t control. We had about 4 years of temper tantrums (or whatever term you want to use). I prayed lots and found that singing helped (it sounds strange but my son didn’t want to hear me talk but would listen if I sang what I wanted to tell him). Through it all I often prayed that his strong will would be used as a blessing by God to keep him from succumbing to peer pressure as a teen-ager and to mold him into a man of God and a man of integrity as an adult. We now have way less friction (he’s in Gr.1) and am happy to report that his Gr.1 teacher is very complimentary about his behavior and leadership potential. So after this rather long comment, I want to encourage you and hope that you will also be blessed as a parent with patience!

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